Every day I do my best. But every day I know I could do better. When is my best enough?
Day after day, I cook and clean, shop, plan and pay. I procrastinate too. I kiss my husband. I spend time with our children and always try to find more fun, educational things to do. I care so much for them. But is it enough?
We spend money on things we don’t need. We have so many things. I know we should spend less money on fewer things. We are weak, but we are working to become stronger. We sometimes give to those in need; to churches and schools, friends and family. We don’t expect anything in return. But is this enough?
I pray often throughout the day. We pray as a family every night. We teach our children about our faith and attend mass most Sundays, though we are often late. It feels like we’re always behind somehow, but we try. Is it enough?
I read inspirational books and such. I talk to friends about difficult things. I feel inspired. I want to inspire others, but I often fail. I should practice more what I preach and what I read. I should reach out to more people. I should pray more fervently. I should lead by better example. I let pass too many opportunities. I am scared. And yet, I call on God. Is this enough?
Is it wrong to take breaks? To take it easy? To want more? To want less? To feel unhappy sometimes, even though I have so much? Maybe I have it all wrong. Will we make it to Heaven? Are we that good? Can we become that good? What if there isn’t enough time? What if I die tomorrow? Have I done enough today?
Lord, I know I don’t do enough. I don’t always try my hardest. I could do better. I should…
But in all I fail to do, there is one hope that moves me. The people in my life… Those You send to me… I promise I love them with ALL my heart. I give them every breath, every worry, every thought in my head, every day my life revolves around them. They consume me. I will walk through fire for them, if You ask it of me. I will forever be happy and grateful for them. If my life means anything at all, I hope it rests in them. I am trying to leave Your mark on their hearts. I hope they see You in me. I pray they will live better lives and be better people because of me… Thanks to You.
And if they do, maybe… Just maybe… That’s enough?