Enough

Every day I do my best. But every day I know I could do better. When is my best enough?

Day after day, I cook and clean, shop, plan and pay. I procrastinate too. I kiss my husband. I spend time with our children and always try to find more fun, educational things to do. I care so much for them. But is it enough?

We spend money on things we don’t need. We have so many things. I know we should spend less money on fewer things. We are weak, but we are working to become stronger. We sometimes give to those in need; to churches and schools, friends and family. We don’t expect anything in return. But is this enough?

I pray often throughout the day. We pray as a family every night. We teach our children about our faith and attend mass most Sundays, though we are often late. It feels like we’re always behind somehow, but we try. Is it enough?

I read inspirational books and such. I talk to friends about difficult things. I feel inspired. I want to inspire others, but I often fail. I should practice more what I preach and what I read. I should reach out to more people. I should pray more fervently. I should lead by better example. I let pass too many opportunities. I am scared. And yet, I call on God. Is this enough?

Is it wrong to take breaks? To take it easy? To want more? To want less? To feel unhappy sometimes, even though I have so much? Maybe I have it all wrong. Will we make it to Heaven? Are we that good? Can we become that good? What if there isn’t enough time? What if I die tomorrow? Have I done enough today?

Lord, I know I don’t do enough. I don’t always try my hardest. I could do better. I should…

But in all I fail to do, there is one hope that moves me. The people in my life… Those You send to me… I promise I love them with ALL my heart. I give them every breath, every worry, every thought in my head, every day my life revolves around them. They consume me. I will walk through fire for them, if You ask it of me. I will forever be happy and grateful for them. If my life means anything at all, I hope it rests in them. I am trying to leave Your mark on their hearts. I hope they see You in me. I pray they will live better lives and be better people because of me… Thanks to You.

And if they do, maybe… Just maybe… That’s enough?

5 thoughts on “Enough

  1. Aw, Sis! Your thoughts and feelings expressed here are so . . . YOU ! ! ! And as special as you make everyone else feel, just know that YOU are that special to all of us, in return. We love you ! ! !

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  2. God’s love is a Gift. Heaven is a Gift. There is nothing on earth that you can ever DO or SAY or BE to earn it. It is already yours. All you have to do is except that Gift – His Love – by giving Him your heart in return, living in His presence constantly, and sharing His love in return with everyone in your life. It appears that you already have, that you already are. And that is enough. Mother Theresa said it best when she said that God does not expect us to be perfect. He asks us to be faithful. He will finish what He started in you in His time and in His way. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful post! ~ Mom

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  3. PS
    And you have no idea, dear daughter, how deeply you have touched all of our lives in your short years on earth and how profound of an impact you have made on our hearts! Yes, we see Christ in you and in your life of service and love for all your family! Never doubt that!

    Now, try to relax and have JOY as you let God love YOU and fill YOU and give you more of everything good – so that you can share even more of Him with us! That’s how it works.
    ~Mom

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